Lightning Accidentally Brings Amish Electricity – Thousands Flee

This story is satirical and should not be taken as a factual news story.

A series of lightning bolts touched ground in Lancaster County, Pa., on Tuesday night, just outside Strasburg. One of the bolts struck a transformer connected to the Pennsylvania power grid, bringing electricity to a large Amish community in an event that gives new meaning to the term "culture shock."

Some of the buildings in use by the Amish once belonged to other Strasburg residents, and were therefore equipped with lights and other electricity-powered fixtures. The one-room schoolhouse, for example, lit up with fluorescents during afternoon lessons, and none of the children knew how to react. According to local news sources, thousands fled the Amish community to escape this sudden assault of light and power.

"We saw twenty or thirty buggies come through here at about four o'clock," says Tiffany King, a resident of Strasburg. "They come into town every once in a while, but never this many at a time. I didn't know what to think, least 'til I saw the paper."

David Lapp, a member of a neighboring Pennsylvania Dutch community, told local news that he and his brethren would welcome any displaced Amish who wished to seek refuge from their own electricity-ridden homesteads.

When asked his opinion of why this might have happened, Lapp replied, "We feel it might be a sign of the end times. We just don't know exactly what the sign means yet. It could be that Satan is trying to tempt us away from Jesus's teachings. Or it could be that God is trying to send us a message so that we might prepare for judgment."

The Amish are known for shunning modern conveniences, such as electricity, cars, and telephones. They live simple lives in self-sustaining communities, and are sometimes referred to as the "plain people." There are large concentrations of Amish in Kansas, Pennsylvania, Kentucky, and Ohio, but they can be found all over the country.

PPL (Pennsylvania Power and Light) is hard at work trying to rectify the problem. They have not yet discovered the reason for this phenomenon, but they will conduct a thorough investigation as they work on the power lines, substations, and transformers affected by it. They have also assured the Amish people that they will not be responsible for any electricity charges incurred during this time, and they have promised that the Amish will once again be without power in three to five business days.

Despite those assurances, however, the Amish may never return to their community. Lapp says that many residents are concerned that their homes and other buildings are tarnished by this strange and sudden generation of electricity.The affected community was home to nearly 5,000 Amish, all of whom have now fled to friendlier, darker, and non-climate-controlled quarters.